It's Saturday and the weather is nice, 23 degrees Celsius.
I went to school to attend my very first Parents-Teachers Meeting.
I came earlier than needed so I had breakfast with the Dance and Drama teacher in a nearby pizza house.
After the meeting, Driss met me in Garniture and we went to his place where Katya is waiting.
I ate some fruit salad and drank Moroccan tea.
We met Mila together with the whole Altan family, except Babba, at the park in Halkevi.
Mila, Katya, Driss and I walked towards Seka Park to have some coffee and cay.
My host family picked me up in Carsi and we went home to have dinner with their friends, Ahmet and Sevim.
We ate manti and drank Coke, my favorites.
After dinner, we went to the living room to watch TV while drinking cay and eating almonds and pistachios.
It is a good day, even perfect, if I may say.
But I don't feel right.
I dream of home.
I want to be home.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Of Late Night, Running, and Pepper Spray
Recently, I have been so scared to go home very late at night. From city center, it will take me approximately 50 minutes by bus to my house.
I never had problems with late nights before. I remember I even went home as late as almost 1 am. But that was before an incident happened which is freaking me out until now.
Around two weeks ago, I made a mistake of entertaining a short conversation with a male stranger in the bus. I am not sure what caused that sudden weakness and letting down of guard. All I remember is that I was still grieving for the loss of my uncle who passed away a few days before the said incident.
I might have encouraged him to pursue me or something because he followed me home. Oh yes, he followed me home. He was asking a lot of things I don't understand since obviously I don't speak Turkish and he attempted some sly moves.
Thinking about that incident now makes my blood boil. Now, I cannot help but be scared all the time when I get in the bus because he might be in there and might follow me again at home.
The quality and quantity of time I spend with my intern friends is greatly affected. I am always so giddy to go home that I cannot strike even a healthy conversation with them.
Like right now, I met Sevim, the dance teacher of our school, for some Turkish lesson. We got so carried away that we finished at 9. Then, I have to go to Doping to celebrate the birthday of Katya's brother but I can only stay for a few minutes because I have to take note of the time. I don't want to go home very late. At the station, I have to wait long for my ride because apparently, the schedule of the bus is not frequent late at night. I got home at around 10:30 and while half walking half jogging towards our apartment, I was so alert with the pepper spray in my right hand and the telephone on my left hand just in case any untoward incident happens.
And then, the idea that I feel guilty coming home late because my host family is waiting for me also bothers me. I don't want to give them any discomfort and uneasiness that I am still outside the house at such hour.
Hay. What do I do with this feeling and situation? I just hope this emotion wears out quickly and that I get to feel comfortable and safe again at night.
Oooofffff ya... Hay... Umarim.
I never had problems with late nights before. I remember I even went home as late as almost 1 am. But that was before an incident happened which is freaking me out until now.
Around two weeks ago, I made a mistake of entertaining a short conversation with a male stranger in the bus. I am not sure what caused that sudden weakness and letting down of guard. All I remember is that I was still grieving for the loss of my uncle who passed away a few days before the said incident.
I might have encouraged him to pursue me or something because he followed me home. Oh yes, he followed me home. He was asking a lot of things I don't understand since obviously I don't speak Turkish and he attempted some sly moves.
Thinking about that incident now makes my blood boil. Now, I cannot help but be scared all the time when I get in the bus because he might be in there and might follow me again at home.
The quality and quantity of time I spend with my intern friends is greatly affected. I am always so giddy to go home that I cannot strike even a healthy conversation with them.
Like right now, I met Sevim, the dance teacher of our school, for some Turkish lesson. We got so carried away that we finished at 9. Then, I have to go to Doping to celebrate the birthday of Katya's brother but I can only stay for a few minutes because I have to take note of the time. I don't want to go home very late. At the station, I have to wait long for my ride because apparently, the schedule of the bus is not frequent late at night. I got home at around 10:30 and while half walking half jogging towards our apartment, I was so alert with the pepper spray in my right hand and the telephone on my left hand just in case any untoward incident happens.
And then, the idea that I feel guilty coming home late because my host family is waiting for me also bothers me. I don't want to give them any discomfort and uneasiness that I am still outside the house at such hour.
Hay. What do I do with this feeling and situation? I just hope this emotion wears out quickly and that I get to feel comfortable and safe again at night.
Oooofffff ya... Hay... Umarim.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Seasons
It is 6 degrees Celsius outside.
We thought that spring has officially arrived last week. Temperature rose to as high as 20 degrees and people began shedding their thick clothes and some even started wearing T-shirts and shorts.
But now it is back to less than 10 degrees and we are wearing our thick jackets and coats again.
The idea that spring is almost here excites me. I realized that winter is not something to pine for. I remember the previous weeks when I was freezing in the middle of the afternoon even if all the heaters in school were on. My feet were also icy despite my thick socks and trusty boots. Maybe winter is not something that my tropical body can get used to quickly.
But spring also poses a problem for me. The perennial question of what to wear is haunting me.
Coming from the Philippines whose staple clothes are cotton shirts and jeans, wearing different sets of clothes for different seasons is totally alien to me.
I must admit though that it is fun dressing up especially if you have a deep wardrobe to choose from. But with my limited outfits, I have to make do with what I have in my luggage and what I can afford to buy here.
Still, I am excited to see flowers blooming again and trees waking up into a colorful green. I just hope I won't look so funny with my turtlenecks in the coming season because that's all I have now until I have enough budget to buy those nice long-sleeved shirts I am seeing in the shopping malls now.
Anyway, bos ver, as what Turkish people will say, or it's not important.
There are far more pressing world problems like the state of Libya and the tsunami and nuclear fears in Japan than the state of my closet here in Turkey.
We thought that spring has officially arrived last week. Temperature rose to as high as 20 degrees and people began shedding their thick clothes and some even started wearing T-shirts and shorts.
But now it is back to less than 10 degrees and we are wearing our thick jackets and coats again.
The idea that spring is almost here excites me. I realized that winter is not something to pine for. I remember the previous weeks when I was freezing in the middle of the afternoon even if all the heaters in school were on. My feet were also icy despite my thick socks and trusty boots. Maybe winter is not something that my tropical body can get used to quickly.
But spring also poses a problem for me. The perennial question of what to wear is haunting me.
Coming from the Philippines whose staple clothes are cotton shirts and jeans, wearing different sets of clothes for different seasons is totally alien to me.
I must admit though that it is fun dressing up especially if you have a deep wardrobe to choose from. But with my limited outfits, I have to make do with what I have in my luggage and what I can afford to buy here.
Still, I am excited to see flowers blooming again and trees waking up into a colorful green. I just hope I won't look so funny with my turtlenecks in the coming season because that's all I have now until I have enough budget to buy those nice long-sleeved shirts I am seeing in the shopping malls now.
Anyway, bos ver, as what Turkish people will say, or it's not important.
There are far more pressing world problems like the state of Libya and the tsunami and nuclear fears in Japan than the state of my closet here in Turkey.
My Resolve Today
I haven't been faithful to this blog. I have been here for more than 5 months and I haven't written much about my life here.
The idea that this AIESEC Turkey experience will be over soon moves and hastens me to write something sensible regularly.
With this, I hope to write even short snippets of my daily life and of what has been happening in this enriching and culturally-awakening experience of mine.
I will keep this blog posted. Insallah.
The idea that this AIESEC Turkey experience will be over soon moves and hastens me to write something sensible regularly.
With this, I hope to write even short snippets of my daily life and of what has been happening in this enriching and culturally-awakening experience of mine.
I will keep this blog posted. Insallah.
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