Incoherent Thoughts

My promise I made two months ago to blog everyday went down the drain.

The internet in our school went bozuk as what Turkish people will say or was under repair in English and my internet time was greatly affected.

Thinking of blogging when I get home at night was too much because I usually spend my remaining night  hours with friends or host family.

Hence this very late post.

I feel a little guilty not updating what's happening in my life here because this will serve as one of my greatest memories of the kind of life that I lived here.

Nevertheless, it's better late than never.


YAZ GELDI


"Yaz geldi" as what I ofetn here from Turkish people now or "summer has come." And truly, it has finally arrived. Spring was too short. The weather patterns here are also changing just like in the rest of the world.

Temperature can go as high as 27 degrees Celsius and sometimes I feel like I am in the Philippines. I stopped wearing thick and long clothes. My boots were set aside. My thermals have not been worn for several weeks now. And my coat was finally able to breathe some downtime.

Now that it is summer, I kind of miss the cold winter. Hay. I can never get contented.


AZ KALDI

Az kaldi or just a little more. I will be home very soon. The idea of living this country that I have learned to love and live in is breaking my heart. I never thought that I can survive in a country that is totally alien to me. But now, I feel so proud that I did it.

I was telling my host father last night how time flies so fast. It feels like  I just arrived yesterday and now I am starting to pack my things and is panic buying for presents for family and friends. He just said something very simple and true, "Welcome to life."


I know I cannot stay here too long. I have my own life to live and I have my own future to think for. This Turkey experience will forever be a great part of what I have become.

I will forever be thankful for all the forces that connive to bring me here and made me appreciate the meaning of my life.

Turkish buses

Travelling in Turkey is cok kolay ve cok rahat.

I have been trying to see the country as much as I can and I usually take the bus.

Buses are very convenient. They have updated websites where you can see bus schedules and bus fares. Branches are all around when you need to purchase a ticket. Services from the nearest branch to otogar is available for free. Buses have comfortable chairs and individual televisions. A bus stewardess is there to offer drinks and food for free and remind you that your stop has come. Wifi is available. Plus, buses are clean.

One interesting bus rule though is that males sit with males, females with females. The conservative side of Turkey still shows.

Still, I can bet on buses anytime. From my guidebook it says that bus service in Turkey is second to none. I totally agree. It is just so good.

Spring

It is officially Spring.

Last Sunday, we adjusted our clocks to an hour in advance. Days are longer now and sun is up even until 7 PM. Sometimes, I can still see hints of daylight even at 8 PM. It is totally amazing.

But the weather is still unpredictable. It was bright and sunny during the start of the week then became gloomy and cold again at the latter part. Crazy weather, really.

I wasn't feeling up and about the whole March. The whole drama that my family underwent must be the reason. But now, thinking about the remaining days of my stay here makes me want to hustle and just take in and enjoy whatever's left of this experience.

Tomorrow, I will be going to Safranbolu with some friends. I am excited to see the place because it is labeled as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The whole town was preserved to showcase the whole Old Ottoman world splendor.

I hope the weather befriends us tomorrow and will make our trip easier. Nevertheless, I intend to have fun and suck all the good energies that Safranbolu has to offer.

Of Perfect Days and Dreaming Home

It's Saturday and the weather is nice, 23 degrees Celsius.

I went to school to attend my very first Parents-Teachers Meeting.

I came earlier than needed so I had breakfast with the Dance and Drama teacher in a nearby pizza house.

After the meeting, Driss met me in Garniture and we went to his place where Katya is waiting.

I ate some fruit salad and drank Moroccan tea.

We met Mila together with the whole Altan family, except Babba, at the park in Halkevi.

Mila, Katya, Driss and I walked towards Seka Park to have some coffee and cay.

My host family picked me up in Carsi and we went home to have dinner with their friends, Ahmet and Sevim.

We ate manti and drank Coke, my favorites.

After dinner, we went to the living room to watch TV while drinking cay and eating almonds and pistachios.

It is a good day, even perfect, if I may say.

But I don't feel right.

I dream of home.

I want to be home.

Of Late Night, Running, and Pepper Spray

Recently, I have been so scared to go home very late at night. From city center, it will take me approximately 50 minutes by bus to my house.

I never had problems with late nights before. I remember I even went home as late as almost 1 am. But that was before an incident happened which is freaking me out until now.

Around two weeks ago, I made a mistake of entertaining a short conversation with a male stranger in the bus. I am not sure what caused that sudden weakness and letting down of guard. All I remember is that I was still grieving for the loss of my uncle who passed away a few days before the said incident.

I might have encouraged him to pursue me or something because he followed me home. Oh yes, he followed me home. He was asking a lot of things I don't understand since obviously I don't speak Turkish and he attempted some sly moves.

Thinking about that incident now makes my blood boil. Now, I cannot help but be scared all the time when I get in the bus because he might be in there and might follow me again at home.

The quality and quantity of time I spend with my intern friends is greatly affected. I am always so giddy to go home that I cannot strike even a healthy conversation with them.

Like right now, I met Sevim, the dance teacher of our school, for some Turkish lesson. We got so carried away that we finished at 9. Then, I have to go to Doping to celebrate the birthday of Katya's brother but I can only stay for a few minutes because I have to take note of the time. I don't want to go home very late. At the station, I have to wait long for my ride because apparently, the schedule of the bus is not frequent late at night. I got home at around 10:30 and while half walking half jogging towards our apartment, I was so alert with the pepper spray in my right hand and the telephone on my left hand just in case any untoward incident happens.

And then, the idea that I feel guilty coming home late because my host family is waiting for me also bothers me. I don't want to give them any discomfort and uneasiness that I am still outside the house at such hour.

Hay. What do I do with this feeling and situation? I just hope this emotion wears out quickly and that I get to feel comfortable and safe again at night.

Oooofffff ya... Hay... Umarim.

Seasons

It is 6 degrees Celsius outside.

We thought that spring has officially arrived last week. Temperature rose to as high as 20 degrees and people began shedding their thick clothes and some even started wearing T-shirts and shorts.

But now it is back to less than 10 degrees and we are wearing our thick jackets and coats again.

The idea that spring is almost here excites me. I realized that winter is not something to pine for. I remember the previous weeks when I was freezing in the middle of the afternoon even if all the heaters in school were on. My feet were also icy despite my thick socks and trusty boots. Maybe winter is not something that my tropical body can get used to quickly.

But spring also poses a problem for me. The perennial question of what to wear is haunting me.

Coming from the Philippines whose staple clothes are cotton shirts and jeans, wearing different sets of clothes for different seasons is totally alien to me.

I must admit though that it is fun dressing up especially if you have a deep wardrobe to choose from. But with my limited outfits, I have to make do with what I have in my luggage and what I can afford to buy here.

Still, I am excited to see flowers blooming again and trees waking up into a colorful green. I just hope I won't look so funny with my turtlenecks in the coming season because that's all I have now until I have enough budget to buy those nice long-sleeved shirts I am seeing in the shopping malls now.

Anyway, bos ver, as what Turkish people will say, or it's not important.

There are far more pressing world problems like the state of Libya and the tsunami and nuclear fears in Japan than the state of my closet here in Turkey.

My Resolve Today

I haven't been faithful to this blog. I have been here for more than 5 months and I haven't written much about my life here.

The idea that this AIESEC Turkey experience will be over soon moves and hastens me to write something sensible regularly.

With this, I hope to write even short snippets of my daily life and of what has been happening in this enriching and culturally-awakening experience of mine.

I will keep this blog posted. Insallah.

4 Months

In less than 4 months I will be back home in the Philippines. It feels too soon. I didn't even notice that I have been here for more than 4 months now. It feels like the fun is just starting. I have found a very good company in the form of my co-trainees, my host family and their friends are just amazing, the kids in school are all lovely, I have been somehow accustomed to the food, weather and what-have-yous here and then in a short while all of these will end. It's quite tragic for me just thinking about it now.

But then again that's just how it goes. I have to make the most of every single day that I will be here because in one blink I ma back in the plane to bring me home in the Philippines.

Earthquake

4 :00 AM

 

There was a strong earthquake a few minutes ago.

I was awakened from sleep because it felt like somebody was rocking my bed. The initial feeling was not fear or terror but confusion. After a few seconds it sank on me. That was a strong earthquake. I sat on my bed trying to make sense of the situation and was thinking if I will just dismiss it and go back to sleep. Then Baris, my host father, knocked on my door and asked if I was ok. That was the confirmation. It really was an earthquake.

I heard movements from the tenants of the other apartments. Baris and Dilber, my host family, then called and told me that we will go outside. I got a little panicky and was heading straight out the door with no coat or protection from the cold when Baris told me I should get dressed. All I have on were my pyjamas. I composed myself and grabbed my jacket, some identification card just in case I will need it, my phones, and then I was outside. We were not the first one to think of the idea, though. Many apartment tenants were already outside. Some are on their phones, others are getting in their cars to get some warmth probably since it is freezing.

Dilber doesn't look good. She looks shaken. It seems like she is scared and has been crying. Baris told me that in 1998, there was a strong earthquake in Izmit which killed 20,000 people.

We went for a short drive just to appease my host mother a little. She is 6 months pregnant and must really be feeling terrible about the situation.
 
I don't know how to make of the experience. Before coming to Turkey, I googled Izmit and found a lot of hits on the strong earthquake a few years ago. I was scared then, to say the least, knowing the place I will be living for 8 months for this exchange program experienced such a terrible calamity.
 

Now I have been living here for more than 3 months and it is only now that I feel a little scared for my life. It is double worrisome because I am far from my family. I can only think of the possible scenarios but would not want to detail it here lest I give it life.
 

Now, we are inside the apartment again. Other people are still in their cars, maybe until their fear subsides. I am not sure if I can go back to sleep though or go to work today. My host family is in the living room talking.

But I feel interesting. After the initial fear, I am calm. It's good because I don't need to deal with a whole lot of emotions now. It is not helpful in this situation.

I hope and pray that this will be the last earthquake I will experience here up until I go back home this June. Or better yet, I hope no strong earthquake happens in Izmit ever again.


Bless us God.